Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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