Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
