just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
