YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
