I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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