Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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