im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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