it hurts more in the daytime
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
