Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
