Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
