I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
either way he was missing a nipple.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
