So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
