From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
