That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
