i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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