i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
