You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
