For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
