I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Randomize
