walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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