new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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