You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
