Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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