So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
