he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
