Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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