new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
