so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
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