I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
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the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
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You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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