Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
