remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Sponge bath it is.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You dont lie about slip and slides
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
