Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize