3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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