This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
