I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Nicole vs. Life
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize