haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
