She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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