I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
