We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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