One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Porn is love you can see.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
