you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
