break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
