So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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