I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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