He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize