My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
