Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
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So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
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Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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