There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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