So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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