but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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