The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize
