First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
she smelled like a LAN party
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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