If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
