dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
