Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
No subtext here. People are naked.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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