So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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