just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
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