piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
