umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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