Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
