it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
