Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
