Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
