Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
